Children of Alcoholic Parents

Being considered a “enabler” in my parent’s past with their alcoholism has been absolutely exhausting. I always blamed myself for their drinking and that I could have done something to prevent it. The question that always lingered in the back of my mind was, “What am I doing wrong? What am I missing?” In reality, I wasn’t missing anything. I was causing myself so much anger, depression, and anxiety. I always felt defeated.

One thing I have learned in the twenty-some years that I have been living with alcoholic parents is this: You cannot control anyone else but yourself. You can’t force someone to want to do something. You can’t force someone not do something. They have to want to change. As much as I want to help and think that I may have the right words to say this time around, I know I don’t. No promise, no “I don’t want to do this anymore” will stop me from preparing myself for the worst. You have to continue to live this beautiful life that sits in front of you. Don’t hide yourself under someone else’s darkness (especially for someone who doesn’t want to reach out and get help). Let the beauty of your life shine and live each day with purpose. Long story short, it’s okay to be selfish. Just do it for the right reasons.